33% of DC Functionally Illiterate

Compared to the national average of 21%, the illiteracy rate in DC is closer to 33%. Functional illiteracy is qualified as not being able to understand thing like a bus schedule or fill out a job application.

Ridiculous when you think that across the Potomac in Arlington, Virginia you have the 82.5% of the population who has attended at least 1 year of college. The population of Arlington is 185,000 and the total functionally illiterate population in DC is 170,000. Wow, eh?

Something really sad? Really really sad? Reported literacy in Switzerland is 99%. You saw that coming.

Can anything phase this guy?

Roger Federer lost his match at Indian Wells (7-5, 6-2) against the relative unknown Guillero Canas (who was returning to the sport after an 18-month doping ban). The dude was well on his way to breaking the 46-game winning record of Guillermo Vilas.

Canas, an Argentinian, injured his wrist in 2000 (ranked 227th) and returned in 2001 to ascend to 15th place. In a YEAR. Hmmm. He gets booted for doping in 2004 (surprise?) and returns in September of 2006 to come back and beat the Fed. Talk about a shitty way to go. The storyline doesn't even sound plausible. It almost sounds like that ridiculous General Hospital plotline where Casey Rogers was actually an alien from the planet Lumina. WTF? Where was Nadal? Where was Roddick?

And, like the son of Calvin he is, the Fed says "Sooner or later it had to happen, so it's OK. It's no problem."

John McEnroe, we miss you. Please break something.

Euro bed plan, here we come!

According to a NYTimes article, 60% of homes will have dual master bedrooms 2015, underscoring a new trend for married Americans to sleep in separate beds. Maybe the Europeans knew what they were talking about - separate beds, same room. Make the whole thing mechanical and you could still get some nookie, press a button, and hog the entire half of your own bed all night. Win-win baby, win-win.

Google iPhone killer?

Some VC posted something about a team of 100 people working on an iPhone-killer Googlephone. Is it 2 legit 2 quit?

Firefly Fix

For those of you that miss the Joss Whedon serial Firefly, there is still a glimmer of hope. Whedon announced that he will be coming out with a comic book series that will take place before the Serenity movie, but after the original Firefly episodes.

If you have no idea what Firefly is, get some education. And learn some Chinese.

Welcome to the Tardiness Support Group, America

I couldn't help but laugh when I saw this post on ABC. It's amusing for a number of reasons:

• Who the fuck calls late people "punctually-challenged"? It's almost like Microsoft has built in a euphemizer into MS Word.
• I love how the press love to paint a picture of a "punctually-challenged" person as a victim of some chronic disease and associate it with anxiety. Is there going to be a pill for this one too? I can almost picture the 1am informercial...
• Why don't they mention the fact that some people don't care? I think since my return to the US, I've been the first person or on time to meetings for around 10% of my meetings.
• Note that the article doesn't mention other countries. Try having a meeting on time in Italy, for God's sake. Or at 1pm in Switzerland. Good luck.

Swiss, Kicking Green Ass Again

A Migros store in Switzerland has become the first store to fully light the store with light emitting diodes (LED).

In 2005, the Department of Energy has estimated that LED lighting could cut national energy consumption for lighting in the US by 29% by 2025. The total savings on U.S. household electric bills until then would be $125 billion.

Keep an eye on the renamed GE LED unit and their partnership with Nichia. What's cool? Nichia has developed a UV LED.

Boulder, Colorado

Boulder is one of those cities where you give way to your inner hippie, but need to remember to zip your American Express into your wicking hiking shorts. The city would be a wicked imitation of an urbanized European alpine town if there weren't so many damn California license plates and pickup trucks. Nontheless, you can have a pretty good time in Boulder and I find that my heart rate seems to drop a bit when you can see a treeless horizon. A few notes:

• Hotel Boulderado. If you can afford it or paying with the corporate plastic, a rockin' place in the heart of downtown with a great Wednesday night music.
• Aji on Pearl Street. A great Latin restaurant with killer steak. Highly recommend the Filet of the House.
• Fat Tire. Okay, so not really Boulder, but Colorado nonetheless.
  
• Berthoud. I can't explain my fascination with this town - maybe because it has one of the few A&Ws that know of. Berthoud is a tiny little town that used to be on the main drag between Loveland and Boulder. Thanks to city planning, the major road (CO 287) is routed around it.
  
• Boulder Baked Cookies. During a pre-college summer session at CU, I learned how to climb the outside of Farrand Hall to get into the unoccupied killer apartments on the top floor, sneak kegs into dorms, and eat cookies at 1am. Boulder Baked Cookies has a service that runs from 6pm to 1am and delivers hot, fresh cookies to you with milk. You can't beat it and, for the life of me, I have no idea why no other college cities don't have these.
• Getting a kick out of the house costs for a 4BR 2.5BA house in Boulder that sold for $2.1M.
  
• My one regret? Missing the John Butler Trio at the Fox.
  

How to be famous in Switzerland

• Have headshots made up
• Purchase Adobe Photoshop and mock up an advertisement
  
• Modify shots and slap a Gucci brand on it
• Contact Swiss newspaper to run ads
  
• Have newspaper send bill to Gucci
• Move to Sweden and gloat to your friends

Winner of the Un-PC Award

Overheard on a crowded DC (mixed population) bus:

• White 20something woman: "I don't know why Luke applied to Howard (University) law school. I told him that it might be a stigma on his resume and all."
• Responder: (Obviously asking the question we are all asking ourselves right now).
• White 20something woman: "Well, you know - employers might think he's black or something and wouldn't want to hire you."

And these are the same Coach-bag wearing, macchiato-drinking yuppies that wonder why racism is getting worse.

Mea culpa y'all

The state of Virginia just issued a formal apology for enslaving millions of Africans and exploiting Native Americans. They are apparently using the same PR firm that the Vatican hired for apologies. Galileo was unreachable for comment.

Now we know why Swiss cheese is so damn good...

Switzerland's Agriculture Ministry has called on the country's farmers to stop feeding their cows cannabis. Swiss farmers consider the crop a cheap and easy to grow plant for their cows. They believe that THC "makes cows happy and produce more milk".

Goats in Switzerland were unavailable for comment but overheard to say, "Freakin' hippies."

Americans Hate Money

Large bills, that is. I presented a $100 bill to a 7-Eleven clerk and almost had to call 911 because I thought she might flip out. She was looking at the bill like it was foreign currency and didn't compute. It's something that the Swiss don't seem to blink at - the presentation of god-awfully large bills that force the clerks to use up the entire till's worth of change.

Fist Bumpin' with the Oldies

Since when did the fist-bump become so ubiquitous that elderly immigrant men started doing it? I just got a fist bump from the 68-year old Lebanese guy that runs the cafeteria in my building. I know that Budweiser mocked it during the Superbowl, but aw hell - it's just plain awkward now.

Celebrating the One Year

Today, February 16, I am celebrating the one-year anniversary of traveling to the land of milk and cheese. With that in mind, I proclaim February 16 as Fondue Day. So go get your beat-ass wedding registry fondue set out of storage, get some gruyere, and cheese it out.

It sucks to be a kid in the US

American and British youngsters have a more troublesome childhood than their European counterparts, according to a United Nations study presented in Berlin on Wednesday. They're poorer, get on worse with their parents and take more risks. In comparison with children living in other rich countries, those growing up in the USA and the UK have the lowest quality of life, the study says.

Drinking baby in Ireland was unavailable for comment.

They are among us

The number of the Swiss living abroad is growing constantly and now exceeds 645,000, the foreign ministry revealed on Thursday. If the guy next to you on the metro offers you his seat, he just might be Swiss.

Bootstrapper Bat-Utility Belt

Entrepreneur? Great post on web apps that can help you out here. Mind the "fad"-y appeal to a lot of these sites (e.g., LinkedIn), but lots of good tools nonetheless.

Bad Ass GUI

Remember that random video from a TED conference presenting a wicked touch-screen GUI? Well, it looks like they've modded it into a fully-functional user interface. Take a look here.

Cowboy Up

Trying to get back on the horse is hard as hell. After beating up myself over having ignored my beloved Bonheursuisse like a new puppy a week after Christmas, I've undertaken a personal challenge to keep this site alive and quasi-interesting. I'll attempt to post at least an interesting comment or link once every other day. Humor might be spartan. Just have to warn you.