Learn mafioso charm.
Hair dye : Chinese leaders as what is to Farah Fawcett?
Note to single guys: wear Speedstick and get laid. Where the hell are the PR people on this one?
Venezuela decides to offset their clocks by 30 minutes, just to give the bird to the rest of the world.
Advocating randomness in sport.
USPS to Netflix: O HAI. UR IN TEH MACHINES, CLOGGIN TEH STUFF. I CAN HAZ PROFIT MARGINS? KTHXBI.
Feel shitty for the day: Figure out what other people did by the time they were your age.
Funds employing math majors: 0. Funds employing psychology majors: 1.
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