August Hypothermia

Getting ready for our regular weekly swim last week, my buddies and I donned our Euro-swimsuits (something halfway between a speedo and swim-versions of tighty-whities) and edged our way into the water until our toenails made contact with the oddly chilly August lakewater. Machismo and testosterone edging us on, we dove into the water and experienced an involuntary cold-water gasp.

The water was somewhere around 10 celsius (50 fahrenheit). After a few days of rain and cloudy weather, the lake had dropped nearly 10 degrees over the course of a week. Nuts the size of pistachios, we exited the water like pirhanas at the shores of a nudist tanning colony.

Hypothermia in water happens much faster because of the larger surface area that the water is exposed to (and water's excellent ability to pull heat away from the body). We were planning on going for about a 750m - which in water that cold would have been torture equivalent to watching Numa Numa and Angry German Kid for 18 hours straight. Our cold, pale bodies would have been washed ashore somewhere in Nyon - poked incessantly by the business-end of a sharp stick held by curious children.

Fast "50" Facts:

• An average adult person has a 50/50 chance of surviving a 50 yard swim in 50 degree (F) water.
• A 50 year old person in 50 degree (F) water has a 50/50 chance of surviving for 50 minutes
  

We retreated to the comfort of our clothes and watched as a Russian woman (who undoubtedly was part polar bear), entered the water and swam for nearly a half hour. Desperately looking to reestablish our masculinity, we struck up conversation with a cross-dressing bicyclist who was wearing a tennis dress.