Winner of the Un-PC Award

Overheard on a crowded DC (mixed population) bus:

• White 20something woman: "I don't know why Luke applied to Howard (University) law school. I told him that it might be a stigma on his resume and all."
• Responder: (Obviously asking the question we are all asking ourselves right now).
• White 20something woman: "Well, you know - employers might think he's black or something and wouldn't want to hire you."

And these are the same Coach-bag wearing, macchiato-drinking yuppies that wonder why racism is getting worse.

Mea culpa y'all

The state of Virginia just issued a formal apology for enslaving millions of Africans and exploiting Native Americans. They are apparently using the same PR firm that the Vatican hired for apologies. Galileo was unreachable for comment.

Now we know why Swiss cheese is so damn good...

Switzerland's Agriculture Ministry has called on the country's farmers to stop feeding their cows cannabis. Swiss farmers consider the crop a cheap and easy to grow plant for their cows. They believe that THC "makes cows happy and produce more milk".

Goats in Switzerland were unavailable for comment but overheard to say, "Freakin' hippies."

Americans Hate Money

Large bills, that is. I presented a $100 bill to a 7-Eleven clerk and almost had to call 911 because I thought she might flip out. She was looking at the bill like it was foreign currency and didn't compute. It's something that the Swiss don't seem to blink at - the presentation of god-awfully large bills that force the clerks to use up the entire till's worth of change.

Fist Bumpin' with the Oldies

Since when did the fist-bump become so ubiquitous that elderly immigrant men started doing it? I just got a fist bump from the 68-year old Lebanese guy that runs the cafeteria in my building. I know that Budweiser mocked it during the Superbowl, but aw hell - it's just plain awkward now.

Celebrating the One Year

Today, February 16, I am celebrating the one-year anniversary of traveling to the land of milk and cheese. With that in mind, I proclaim February 16 as Fondue Day. So go get your beat-ass wedding registry fondue set out of storage, get some gruyere, and cheese it out.

It sucks to be a kid in the US

American and British youngsters have a more troublesome childhood than their European counterparts, according to a United Nations study presented in Berlin on Wednesday. They're poorer, get on worse with their parents and take more risks. In comparison with children living in other rich countries, those growing up in the USA and the UK have the lowest quality of life, the study says.

Drinking baby in Ireland was unavailable for comment.

They are among us

The number of the Swiss living abroad is growing constantly and now exceeds 645,000, the foreign ministry revealed on Thursday. If the guy next to you on the metro offers you his seat, he just might be Swiss.

Bootstrapper Bat-Utility Belt

Entrepreneur? Great post on web apps that can help you out here. Mind the "fad"-y appeal to a lot of these sites (e.g., LinkedIn), but lots of good tools nonetheless.

Bad Ass GUI

Remember that random video from a TED conference presenting a wicked touch-screen GUI? Well, it looks like they've modded it into a fully-functional user interface. Take a look here.

Cowboy Up

Trying to get back on the horse is hard as hell. After beating up myself over having ignored my beloved Bonheursuisse like a new puppy a week after Christmas, I've undertaken a personal challenge to keep this site alive and quasi-interesting. I'll attempt to post at least an interesting comment or link once every other day. Humor might be spartan. Just have to warn you.

Happy New Year!

Wishing everyone a happy, healthy, and prosperous 2007!

Happy new year!

It's all about US

Scanning the radio and TV is a frustrating exercise in Virginia. The most striking thing is that all of the stories are purely focused on domestic issues - inane issues at that. A sampling of issues that have won the headlines in the US:

• Rosie O'Donnell vs. Donald Trump on the handling of the Miss USA drunkenness scandal.
  
• Deep fried turkey party causes labor dispute at Dulles International Airport.

Admittedly, Geneva had its share of inane issues that seem to still be smoldering, but for the most part, the majority of coverage seems to be on international issues that tend to be more weighty. A recent notable exception is on SwissInfo and covers the Swiss Navy. Yes. Swiss Navy. Play the video for Miami Vice lushiousness.

One month report card

It's been a little over one month since my return to the states, and it's time for a checkup.

Returning to work.............................F
Being back with my honey.................A+
Traffic jams....................................D
American coffee...............................C
American "baguette".........................D
Getting a king sized bed....................A
Being subjected to "Greys Anatomy"....C-
New versions of "Family Guy".............B+
Looking forward to TV shows.............F
Reading Le Matin online jealously........B
Eating Hersheys..............................C

Something you won't see around the DC beltway

Crazy video of ski-paragliding down the Eiger in Switzerland.

Most Annoying Questions, Ever

It's hard to tell, with Americans, earnest curiousity from polite courteousness. Upon seeing some friends or colleagues for the first time in months, it seems that not enough thought is put into assembling thought-provoking questions. Here are the top three most annoying questions:

• "How was it?"
• This is so fantastically open-ended, it's hard to know where to start. My responses have ranged from "awesome" to "a great growth experience". My selection of response usually depends on how jealous or upset the person will become if I were to say, "That trip was so crunk that even Snoop Dogg is going to be talking about missing out for years to come."
  
• "Did you have a great time?"
• "No. Terrible. Tan and weight loss do not suit me. I am elated to be back on soil of Glorious Leader Bush."
  
• "How was Sweden?
  

Democrats in da Hiz-ouse

On Nov. 7, I dragged myself out of work and to the polling stations to cast my vote in, among other races, the Virginia Senatorial race between George Allen and Jim Webb.

I'm proud enough to say that my vote was, hopefully, one of the 7200 votes that separated the winning Webb (D) from our good buddy George Macaca Allen (R).

Post Travel Bed-Bound Blues

I'm sick. Two days ago, my throat felt like it went on vacation and left a small wolverine as its substitute. Today, the wolverine has chosen to lodge itself behind my left tonsil. Just about every swallow is painful.

According to Duke Health, the chance of illness for a one-month international trip is 60-70%. Since I caught two colds back to back upon arriving in Geneva, I thought I had paid my dues. Not so lucky.

I am really lacking the ability to be objective about my experiences back in US since everything is tainted by my general grumpiness about being sick. It's like seeing things through puke-colored glasses.

Adjusting to the lifestyle of the car is something that I still am terribly remorseful about. Although I remember sweating and complaining to myself in those first few weeks in Switzerland, the bus / walk lifestyle is more rewarding. Sitting in a 3-5 mile stretch of gridlock on 395, I started to think back to the "traffic jams" in downtown Geneva that usually stretched for 3-5 blocks and almost pulled to the shoulder and walked home.

For the first week back, I have to say that the increased dependency on cars is the first thing I noticed.

The Replacement

During the heavy losses in WWII, replacements were brought in to fill the gaps in the squads. The situation that I find myself in is no different.

I'm witnessing the slow defeat of our IT division through the grinding, often agonizing reorganization that they've been undergoing for the past eight months (while I have been abroad). The reorg has ground down some of the most experienced and talented minds that kept the organization running - and we are starting to lose them. The story is nothing unique to other organizations that have underwent terrible reorgs.

It's tough being the fresh-faced quasi-noob, newly off the plane from Switzerland and placed in a squadron of grizzled veterans who have seen hell. The reorg, by all accounts, has not been successful and it isn't nearly complete. The conversations I've had with all of my old colleagues has reminded me of a paradox that I learned of in project management training.

The Abilene Paradox is a paradox in which the limits of a particular situation force a group of people to act in a way that is directly the opposite of their actual preferences. It is a phenomenon that occurs when groups continue with misguided activities which no group member desires because no member is willing to raise objections. The reorganization, despite quiet objections from small groups of holdouts in the department, has become an example of the Abilene Paradox.

Being the fresh-face, I'm trying to keep my head low, learn what happened from the vets, and see if there's a way for all of us to get out of this war.

Back in the saddle

I'm three days new to this awkward timezone and still don't feel like I'm any where near getting adjusted. Jumping right back into work is also something that I don't really recommend to anyone not prepared to deal with the onslaught of curious coworkers who are the equivalent of stick-wielding children at the zoo.

The flight itself wasn't terrible, with the notable exception of being treated like a shiv-carrying prisoner at the Frankfurt airport. I did everything except the cheek-spread, sack-lift in that freaking airport security line.

What is the hardest, most immediate adjustment for me in the past 3 days? It's that I'm back behind the wheel of a wheeled, armored beast, standing in traffic and losing 30-40 minute stretches of my life as I scan the airwaves for something other than talk radio and smooth jazz. Coworkers look different, work seems to have become twice as stressful for them, and everyone I see has an air of pessimism about them. The upside for them? At least they can now stress out in casual clothing rather than business casual.