Voice to Badmotherfucker

An article about an ex-Microsoftie who left to start a voice-to-text broadcast service got me thinking about the quality of the technology to date.

My concerns aren't necessarily that the new technology Jott is proposing wouldn't work if I was at a deskphone. In fact, I'm pretty sure there are enough code monkeys out there to get the technology pretty righteous. Like any good American, I daydream while I'm driving. For those of you in Mercedes or BMWs, this Jott thing (coupled with your yuppie Bluetooth Borgsets) is probably going to be the bomb. But when I'm in my windtunnel-sounding of a 1994 Toyota 4Runner on I-395, the background noise alone can make it sound like I'm hanging at Tao with 50 cent on a fight night.

This, in turn, led me to think back to when IM and AI chat was all the rage. I dug out my old bookmarks and refound Jabber - and the humorous AI site - Jabberwacky. I wanted to see how the AI would behave under unconventional - and stressful - conversational situations. Below is the cut-and-pasted excerpt from my conversation with Jabberwacky (JW):

• Me: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
• JW: It doesn't look like anything.
• Me: What country you from?
• JW: Neverland. Second star from the right and straight on till morning.
• Me: Neverland ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in Neverland?
• JW: That must be the only place left that does.
• Me: ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
• JW: Emanikkuja (note to readers: this is Estonian for 'motherfucker')
  
• Me: Then you know what I'm saying!
• JW: Yes!
• Me: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like!
• JW: I don't know.
• Me: Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
• JW: Don't get all authoritarian with me!
• Me: Go on.
• JW: My middle name is Tabitha so use that okay?
• Me: Does he look like a bitch?
• JW: Remember my name please.
• Me: Tabitha, does he look like a bitch?
• JW: Does who look old?
• Me: Tabitha, does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch?
• JW: I'm not into that kind of thing.
• Me: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Tabitha?
• JW: You think I'm a program.
• Me: Yes you are. Yes you are, Tabitha. You tried to fuck him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be fucked by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.
• JW: You're right.